Wherein I Have No Job Despite Having Graduated

I was bored today.

So I decided to count my facial hairs. It turns out that I have over ninety short pieces on my chin, and a similar number above my lips – it was difficult getting an accurate number as I realized that I counted like a hillbilly, mouthing the numbers as I went along and destroying the count as my hairs moved with my lips.

I have an idea of leaving it a couple more days until it’s long enough to cut off with a scissors, and then sniping it off piece by piece as I count to make good my figures. Perhaps after I’m layed off my first job for being a complete nut.

Ninety hairs on the chin. And it’s all concentrated on the tip, so I can use my chin as a piercing weapon, unlike most men who can use their faces as sandpaper. I’m uncertain if I can even achieve the typical-chinese-evil-dude beard and mudskipper-moustache, as demonstrated below:

I already have the habit of rubbing my hands together when excited and make use of too much gel on my hair, so the evil-villian look only requires a large white cat and several tasteless rings to complete. Perhaps I’ll attempt it if I ever go into teaching.

Unless someone comes up to me with plans for a theme-party sometime soon, I’m contemplating waxing it all off. It’s like having to tend a lawn with… 99 pieces of grass in it. Except that the grass is rather ugly, black and has to be razed to the ground to make you look good.

Well, at least I’m not so bored that I’m using iPod vibrators (stimulates you in time with your favourite music!).


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