Wherein I empathize with salari-men

Possibly the worst things about working life is the gradual atrophying of my mind – as evidenced by what counts for entertainment these days.

She is Ai Otsuka and she appears in several other similarly sugar-poppy MTVs.

For some reason it makes me feel happy watching these, even though I have no idea what Ms Otsuka is screaming (though I harbour a suspicion that might be a good thing). That she wants me to be “Smily” and have “Happy Days” is good enough for a poor sa-la-ri-man like me. The girls (stretching that term) in my office don’t smile like that at me and tell me that they feel strong and pretty, not even when take my shirt off, put on a hula dress and bang a drum around the office.

Despite looking like one of those sadly overpublicized, undertalented Japanese idols, it turns out Miss Otsuka has some ability in songwriting, having written most of her own songs – including the lyrics, which leads me to believe that Miss Otsuka has a very good smack supplier. She can also play the piano and the guitar, as proven (in a vague and utterly falsifiable way) in this video:

Here’s Miss Otsuka’s entry in Wikipedia, which contains a not-very-cute picture of her and some information about her career, as well as her shoe size – 22.5cm – which would mean she would have a pretty small penis if she were a man. Here’s a fansite in French about Miss Otsuka, which proves that singing in an incomprehensible language is no barrier to making fans if you smile enough and look like your breakfast consists of grass and milk.

Miss Otsuka is also a talented graphics artist who seems to specialize in post-modern sketches of cutesy stuff. You can see samples on her official website which looks to have been aligned thematically to suit her latest album, LOVE COOK. I am unsure of Mis Otsuka’s ability with the English language.

… I guess it won’t be long now before I start watching videos in the dark in my underwear and… doing stuff whilst Miss Otsuka (or generic female Japanese artiste) proclaims her joy and willingness to do anything to make you happy to the world.

I swear, another few more rounds of Miss Otsuka and I’ll get back to reading my Nietzsche, I promise.

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